When you’re a kid you don’t really understand what “a mother’s love is”. You think love is love and nothing more complex than that. To an extent, I realized how powerful my parent’s love for me was when I was a teenager and started to question how anyone could love me at all. In the moment, it’s hard to realize how quickly your parents would go to the ends of the earth for you, but I’m happy and grateful to fully understand it now.
I think that most people have a stronger connection with one parent or the other. Not to say that’s a bad thing at all, it’s very special regardless. I cry just thinking about how incredibly blessed I am to have a unique relationship with both my Mom and Dad. As I’ve grown older I’ve become closer and closer to them and truly believe that I can tell them anything and expect nothing but honesty and love in return, even when it’s hard to hear.
Sometimes when I’m laying here feeling like shit I just think about my child. I wonder if I’m ready, I wonder what it will be like. What’s your personality like? How will mine and my husband’s relationship change? I have so many questions and the thing is, as much advice as I could possibly obtain will never do the reality of the situation justice because no one will ever know your personal situation ahead of time. So as many questions as I have, I need to remind myself to just take things for what they are and accept what’s coming with an open mind especially since this is my first baby.
The reason I titled this post A Mother’s Love is because I can only speak for myself, and although there may be controversy whether I’m a mother or not because I haven’t given birth yet and I haven’t “put in any work”, but I like to think that I am, and here’s why. I love my child. I am willingly giving myself to him every day no matter what so that he can grow and someday be in my arms. I know without a doubt in my heart or soul that I would give anything for him. He is my priority, my responsibility – he is one of the most important parts of me now, and I wouldn’t have ever known how to show that love as strongly as I do without my mother’s love. To this day my Mom tells me “I love you all the time, every day, no matter what”, and I believe her. Through the hard lessons, long days, and adventures ahead of us, I hope and pray that my son will know in their heart that I love them all the time, every day, no matter what.