I’ve always heard that “friends fall off” when you get married and have children , and I honestly thought it was just a stupid cliche that everyone liked to claim was their own – but to an extent, I believe it and understand what that actually means now. For some reason people think that you not being in the exact same place in life as them means that you can’t be friends or maybe they think it’s too hard, but the thing is – if someone is actually your friend, no distance or circumstance could change that. Being a friend is being understanding, supportive, and sometimes selfless because it does get hard. Marriage and pregnancy has opened my mind a lot to what life is really all about and given me a more definite opinion on certain matters, and that doesn’t mean I know more or less than other people, it’s not a comparison game – it just is what it is . I’ve realized what I do and don’t need, and for everyone those things are different. One of life’s biggest dilemmas is figuring out the difference between wants and needs. I want a solid group of friends who actually give a shit, I want to have my dream job, I want to live somewhere else – but should I be depressed over something I don’t have control over right now ? Those are always things I can work towards. They’re goals, and you don’t achieve something without effort or patience and I think I’m coming to terms with the fact that right now is just not the time where those things are going to fully fall into place. I feel like sometimes I’m torturing myself being miserable over people who don’t seem to care. If I saw that my friend was alone and maybe kinda depressed, I would reach out – and not just when I have personal problems that I need advice on. It wouldn’t be the first time friends of mine went in a different direction or just weren’t interested in my life like I was in theirs anymore – and that’s fine. The hardest part is just knowing when to stop trying, and I think I’m to that point.